I have no words to express the a sorrow and pain I’m in after having lost Mohammed Yahia, aka Hamada to his friends and family, and I’m still “waking up” every few minutes after each distraction that I try to get myself into, and getting shocked by the news all over again. I finally understand what they mean by the first stage of grief being denial. I still can’t believe this happened. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe it’s because I’m so far away from all of our common friends who are also grieving, so I feel like I’m grieving all alone. I know that’s not true, and my husband has been very supportive too, but I feel alone anyway! I want to hug his wife and cry together, and console his daughter while she grieves as well. But I’m thousands of miles away and I can barely even get downstairs then back up after this ankle surgery I had on august 3rd, let alone travel anywhere to be with my friends and grieve together.